sundog

December 28, 2007

I am sooo freaking pissed.

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p12

Sometimes in life shit things happen that leave you unexplainably devastated- I’m not talking about the death of a loved one or a life-changing illness, but about those little things that piss you off more than anything. Like when your phone is stolen- it’s not just the material value, it’s the phone numbers, the means of contacting others, all that jazz. Or when you go back to the store only to find that awesome handbag you wanted was sold half an hour ago. You wanted that handbag. You were all worked up to buy it, you’d planned your evening’s outfit around it, and it’s absence throws life into chaos. Or when you get home from work and the house is messy and the floors are dirty and you know it’ll take all night to clean. All you want to do is sleep, but you know you’ll never be able to knowing the sink is full of dishes.

My favorite band in the world is HIM. They’re a Finnish rock band, a little screamo, a whole lot metal. The lead singer is Ville Valo. He’s the type of guy that occupies your thoughts and your dreams and most of your wall space. So I found out today that they’re coming to Australia, and to the city nearest where I live. I was ecstatic. I was going. Mum said yes. I mean, imagine it, being IN THE SAME ROOM as the person you admire and fantasize about most in the world. I was going to see Ville Valo. I was going to see HIM. I was going to sing along and laugh at his drunken antics. I was going to cry at all the right moments and end up pashing a HIM fan much too old for me. I was going to see HIM.

The feeling was short-lived. It’s an over 18s event. I’d snuck into a club with Mum once before but there was no way I was getting in without some quality fake ID- even Mum said it was risky and not worth the money I’d spend on the ticket.

I’m devastated. For me, there’s never been anyone else but Ville. My boyfriend used to get jealous that I spoke so fondly (and so frequently) of him. My best mates tell me when they see randoms in Heartagram Tees because they know the depth of my obsession. My Mum forgives the fact that my wardrobe walls are cramped with dozens of posters of the same man in heavy makeup. For some, my Valo obsession defines me.

Mum thought it was a little pathetic that I cried over the whole affair, but she wouldn’t understand. Just as she loved Sherbet as a teen, HIM is my lifeblood. She tried to cheer me up by insisting that when I am 18 I can go to Finland and stalk them all I like.

But if they’re no longer together 2 years from now? I can’t even bear to think about it.

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December 20, 2007

You’re a Million Ways to be Cruel

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p12

What’s going on with me:

I’ve seen Ab’s ex a couple of times in the past few days. He’s such a perv, I didn’t quite know what to say when asked for my number- I settled on “I’m too good for you and my Mum think’s you’re a jerk”- to the laughter of his mates. I know how it sounds, but the boy needs to be shut down on every possible occassion if his huge ego is to be kept to a minimum.

The trolley boys are pretty persistent, if there‘s anything to be said in that. My stereotypical self had them pinned for unskilled migrants (see below post)- turns out they’re studying to be accountants in Sydney. I hate the feeling I get when I know I’ve been judgmental and presumptive.

Ellie popped out another three pups this morning- that’s another thousand we’ll have to spend over the new year. Max nearly got abducted by an eagle early in the week (fancy mistaking a Chihuahua for a rat)- it was terribly alarming but I’m hoping it was just a one-off.

I also got my end-of-year report this arvo. Four A’s and B isn’t bad at all- I was pissed that the B was in Media, however- fancy getting the Year 11 Media award and then only ending up with a B… Question Mark?

There’s a certain acquaintance of mine who, despite having a heart of what might be gold (covered in ego), is a complete twat and will never cease to amaze me with his dogged ignorance. It’s not his fault he’s an idiot but I just wish he’d get the hint.

I bought the StepDad Season One of “The Unit” for Christmas- God, how I hate this time of year. It’s such a load of crap and a bit of an insult to all those Christians who are into the celebration of Jesus’ birth. It’s been turned into such a commercial holiday.

I myself feel like a bit of a tool in terms of falling head over heels in love with my manager at work- only to find out he’s engaged… awkward things like this have the tendency to attract me- or is it vice versa?

That was such a devo post, but it’s just because I’ve been alone with my thoughts all day. Things’ll be back to normal tomorrow.

Later. X x

December 10, 2007

Checkouts, Brett Lee, Scrapbooking

Filed under: Friends, My Life, Self Pity, Work — happychick @ 6.38p12

Working as a checkout chick the past few weeks has revealed a few things to me, and confirmed some others. Firstly, it’s made me realize just how heartbreakingly sad the lives are of some of the people in this town. It’s served to reiterate just how lucky I am to be boarding away from the filthy environment and stale atmosphere of the place, and it’s taught me just how capable I am and just how lucky I am to have a mind that works the way mine does- to establish right from wrong, o act in a mature, sensible way, to be NORMAL.

It’s made me realize that I don’t want to be working like this, repetitive, monotonous, bland, for the rest of my life. I want adventure. I want creativity and excitement and laughter.

The Egyptian trolley boy has asked me out a few times- I’m really bad at this sort of thing so I don’t really know what to say. He’s sweet and funny all that jazz, and we all know I have a soft spot for foreigners with accents, but, let’s face it- he’s an Egyptian immigrant. He’s a trolley boy. He’s 20 something with a name I can’t pronounce… It’ll never work out.

It’s now I begin to wonder if I’m shallow- and I know the answer is a yes. I’ve always been in it for me, though, If that makes sense. I always look out for what’s best for myself. If I can help someone out or cheer someone up along the way, great, but let’s face it- when was the last time I did something completely selfless, without hope of a reward?

I miss Casey. She doesn’t know it and I won’t be the one to tell her. We’re mates through convenience- she’s my rock and I’m hers at Boarding. But it gets lonely in this house and I took her presence for granted a lot of the time.

Nush got back from Canberra the other day, I called and asked her how it all went. She had such an awesome time and saw so many cool things it was hard not to be jealous and resent being stuck in this God-awful place for the next two months. It makes me pity myself and I hate that feeling. She even saw Brett Lee!

“OMG guess who I saw at the airport?”

“John Howard?”

“No. Brett Lee”

“No way- he’s like the best spin bowler ever!”

*silence*

“He’s a fast bowler”

*silence*

“That’s what I said”

Tomorrow’s my day off, I’m going to work on my scrapbook. X x

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