sundog

November 18, 2007

The future and my fear of it.

Filed under: My Life, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p11

In Australia we have this thing called National Young Leaders Day. This year, one of the things that stuck in my mind was this; “Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do” .I want to change the world. I want to leave a mark so that in 10, 20, 50 years after my death, people are saying my name, preaching my cause, acknowledging me in a way that is both positive and productive. I watch movies like “Invincible”, “Remember The Titans” and “Pay It Forward” and I want someone to make a movie of my life one day.Like Jim Carey puts it on Bruce Almighty- “I’m not okay with a mediocre life”. I don’t want to be average. I don’t want to be “normal”. I want to be

exceptional. I want to be great. I want people to stand up and say “That girl is amazing”. Like all things, though, being great has it’s pitfalls. There’s the judgment that comes from people thinking you think you “know it all”. There’s the responsibility that comes with knowing people are scrutinizing and/or imitating your every action.

As romantic and fabulous it all sounds in my head, I find myself wondering as I write this down (while talking to my Oh-so-wow-change-the-world-just-by-looking-at-it twin Shona), if it’s at all possible.

I mean, who am I, really? I’m just an Aussie girl from a town no-ones heard of, and those that have make jokes about it (myself included). I have cellulite and oily skin, so I’ll never be a model, I haven’t any “contacts” in the business of… well, anything, unless you count the State Police. Which I don’t.My biggest fear is having regrets. About anything. I don’t want to be a failure, I don’t want to turn out haughty and morally corrupt, I don’t want to become an addict/dealer/abused wife… I’m so scared of making the wrong decisions that I might cease making them at all.On top of that deep-rooted fear of bottoming out is the fact that I have no idea where to start.

Advertisements

3 Comments »

  1. Articulating this is a bigger step than you might imagine. And thank god you didn’t say you wanted to “be famous” in the Paris Hilton sense of being famous for being famous. My advice on starting: focus on either what’s important to you or what you love doing. Or both. And focus on getting good at that. Really good. The best you can possibly be.

    And a tip on what you want versus what you think you “should” do. You’ll always be better at something you love rather than something you think you should be doing because it’s more noble or worthy. Just doing something really well will open doors like you won’t believe. And you’ll feel happier too.

    Comment by Mr Angry — November 21, 2007 @ 6.38p11

    • Wow! I never knew that you had it in you to give her that advice. But I don’t think that you’re a very good adviser because of your erratic behavior online.

      If you want to be a good adviser, you have to change your bad behavior into good behavior. Otherwise, you won’t be worthy of giving advice.

      Comment by Anonymous — May 24, 2011 @ 6.38p05

  2. If you don’t want to turn out to be those people who you don’t want to be, then you better start now by behaving better. I’m not typing that you have to be excessively virtuous. I, myself, am not the virtuous.

    What I’m typing is that you should know where to start, take it from there, and make good choices in life.

    Comment by Anonymous — May 24, 2011 @ 6.38p05


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: