sundog

August 23, 2007

“Except on Wednesdays, when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen”

Filed under: Family, Happy, My Life, School — happychick @ 6.38p08

So, I’ve finally realized what my Mum meant all those times she said “childhood is the best time of your life”, and “years pass with the blink of an eye”… It’s almost September. Anushka will be 16 in 23 days, and I’m not so far behind. I’ve applied for a couple of leadership positions at school for next year- I won’t talk too much about it in case I a) jinx it, or b) am unsuccessful and have wasted breath on the subject. School’s going well- in essence, it never really changes, which is why I appear so repetitive on the subject. I’m worried about my brother, though. He’s been going through all sorts of things lately, not the least of which being an uncertainty of his sexuality- Mum even appears to think he had some kind of Autism as a kid. We’re not like other siblings, BJ and I. We don’t fight, but we certainly don’t get along. We really are from different planets. That said, we are siblings. Deep down, somewhere, I care about him and what happens in his life. He reminds me a lot of my Dad, actually. Not that I remember him all that well. Dad was very similar- introverted, moody, but with good intentions underneath the façade. I just hope BJ doesn’t end up the way Dad was toward the end of his life. I don’t want my brother to struggle with inner demons for the rest of his life. We’re studying Macbeth in Literature at the moment. To be honest, I’ve never hated anything more than I hate this- not since that drawn-out episode with Bilson, anyway. At the risk of being struck down by God, Shakespeare really wasn’t all he’s cracked up to be- talented, yes. Eccentric, definitely. But not the literary genius that he’s renowned as. I’d rather read Bryce Courtenay any day. I’m to see GG on Monday. She’s a tough old duck, I’ll give her that- she’d have to be, I suppose, to have given birth to my Dad and endure all the horrors that family had the misfortune of being dealt. I don’t think I’d mind all that much if I end up a little like her- having a beard, however, might be more than I could take. I’m wondering if crossing your legs really does give you varicose veins. I’ve been finding myself crossing and uncrossing and then wondering if all this movement is, in turn, giving me varicose veins. Oh, the irony. How do they come about anyway? My step dad thinks I need a man. A few of my guy-friends seem to think so too. It’s times like these I feel like a 70-year-old stuck in a 15-year-olds body. I’d rather curl up and watch Robin than hook in with every boy who deems it necessary. Paul might have a point though- it’s been a while, and I’m wondering if I’ve lost my game. And that’s the update. They always say it’s the little things that make a person interesting, but reading back through this post, I’m inclined to beg to differ. P.S. I was thinking today about how much of our charity money actually gets to the poor people in Africa/Indonesia/Detroit. I enjoy the “sense of enormous wellbeing” I get from giving, but it saddens me to think of those who still aren’t getting.

August 17, 2007

Friendships

Filed under: Friends — happychick @ 6.38p08

Friendships are more complicated than people give them credit for. Andy told me recently he’s a devout Christian. It was blunt and yet casual- like a new hairstyle or a manicure. I was shocked and alarmed, it was comical, and then just a little frightening. I didn’t understand. Only then did I realize that it’s very hard to accept something you can’t comprehend. And only then did I realize how little I really knew my “best mate”. Don’t get me wrong- he’s a wonderful guy. Kind and thoughtful and able to get along with anyone. But secretive. Small on details. I’d never been to his house when he lived in Aus. Andy never talked about his family. I guess I spent most of our time together talking about myself- and he spent it listening. Only now do I realize what kind of relationship we had- and what it had the potential to be. I don’t regret what we had- quite the opposite. I treasure every moment the three of us spent together, those afternoons at “our bench”. I suppose I’m a little nostalgic, is all. Andy wasn’t- isn’t- all I had him pinned for. He’s wonderful, yes. He’s funny, yes. And then, there is so much more to him I’ve never known. Perhaps it’s better that way. That Anushka and I are still close is a blessing I give thanks every day for. Without her, I would be nothing. I would have nothing. We are kindred spirits. Best friends. We are one, and yet we are individuals. It’s the sort of friendship Anne and Diana had. Pooh and Piglet, Bill and Ben. The sort that always changes and never dies. The only other person I can honestly say I have that with anymore is my Mother. She is amazing. I’ve said it all before. She is my heart and soul and the day she dies, I will lose my other half. A far cry from the intense hate I harbored for her as a young teen. Friendships change and are complicated and are wonderful. It’s a bit like falling in love, isn’t it? Not that I’m all that experienced in that respect.

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