sundog

January 13, 2007

The male mind is almost as complicated as the female one.

Filed under: Friends, My Life, Self Pity, Work — happychick @ 6.38p01

I wish there was a way to get inside a boy’s head, which didn’t involve putting yourself out. You see, there’s a guy. (I know, with me, there’s always a guy.)

But this guy is different to all the others… well, to an extent. I mean, his smile still makes my knees weak, when he says/ does something nice I try to give the biggest/cutest/nicest smile all at once, I find myself thinking about him at the randomest moments (ie. all the time), and wondering if he’s doing the same… but that’s about where the similarities end.

And so, this crush, as with all crushes, comes with complications. In this case, more complications than usual.

Problem 1: Age.

You see, you wouldn’t think it to look at him, but he’s 18. No getting around it, my (slightly overprotective) Mum would disapprove greatly, and we won’t even get started on my Step Dad. I’d pick him for 16, 17 at the most. But nooo God had to go all kooky on us and have him born 3 years before me.

Problem 2: Appearance.

He is as far as you could get from Pete. In fact, he’s a far as you could get from any guy I’ve ever crushed on in my life. I guess that’s what trips me out most- he’s not my usually definition of “hot”, or “good looking”… at most, I’d go for “cute”.

Problem 3: Reality.

Reality is, he has a crap job. He has a not-quite ancient car, and my Mum is a Nazi when it comes to boys. She pulls this face and I tune out somewhere between “Only interested in sex” and “Why don’t you stay single for a while?” Reality is, I’m moving away to boarding school, and I can’t trust myself with long-distance things.

Problem 4: My Feelings.

This is probably what wakes me up most at night. I don’t know whether or not I truly like him, or perhaps he’s just an outlet for my built-up flirting muscle? Maybe I’m just desperate for some action and/or attention? Worse still, maybe I’m just an attention seeker.

Problem 5: His Feelings.

Well this is the part where I want to throw in the towel and walk away. As of yet, he’s not made a move. (Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known him just under a week… but still!). Subtle hints, like a smile or eye contact that lingers just too long… Or maybe he’s just being nice. I mean, is it too much to ask for a guy to get down on one knee and have flowers delivered to your door? I’m joking, guys. Though at least if he did that I’d know how he felt.

So the way I see it, it can go 3 ways:

1. Ask him out, with blessings from my folks. Get a yes, have a great little fling, perhaps continue it on next holidays.

2. Don’t ask him out. Sit around waiting and wondering, realise we’re just friends, find someone else to turn my attention to.

3. Ask him out, get a no. Be sufficiently embarrassed for the rest of my natural life and have to work with him every day.

4. Ask him out, have my folks hate him, things go sour, everything sucks at work.

5. Don’t ask him out. Maybe he likes me back, maybe not. Go off to boarding school and never know what could’ve happened.

 

We can all see which is the most desirable… but the truth is, I’m a stupid whimp and chances are it’ll remain a one-sided love affair until the end of the month. =)

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1 Comment »

  1. From the sounds of this u r in the close stages of love.. U should do what u think is right.. life is way to short to sit and wonder what has been and what could have been… its ur chance to shine.. as long as ur open and honest with ur family they will greatly appriceate it.. my advice even though u dont know me.. is do what ur heart is telling u… ur a great girl.. u deserve the best…

    xoxoxo

    Comment by hush-puppie — January 21, 2007 @ 6.38p01


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