sundog

December 11, 2006

*HONK*… Ah, Hamish and Andy.

Filed under: Friends, My Life, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p12

Alas, it was bound to be awkward. Pete and I spent the afternoon together, braving the blistering sun (I got sunburnt with sunscreen on!!)… we walked down to the video shop and hired out a few movies… including The Breakfast Club (hahaha OMG obsessed with that movie).

The whole time was… well,*HONK*. I mean, we’re mates now. Mates, and nothing more. I wasn’t totally sure what he had expected, so I guess we were both like “Umm… where do I stand in all of this?”

I just wonder if it’s possible to share a past, and a future, but not in that way.

I suppose I’m being a bit selfish, really. It’s like I left him hanging. I shoved out and he was left here to pick up the pieces I left behind. I sent a lot of mixed signals- I’ll acknowledge that. I was lonely and confused, but all along I think I had resigned myself to the fact that there was no longer an “us”, and that ever since I left, I was basically a single girl again. Poor Pete, trapped here, he wouldn’t have known what hit him.

He says he still has feelings for me- I don’t know how to take that, because, for me, the only thing I feel for him is an intense love of his personality, as a person I’d love to hang with, and nothing more. I’m not in love anymore.

I just don’t think we’re on the same boundaries right now- what’s appropriate and what’s not- what’s expected, what isn’t there anymore…

So I guess that’s what the next 7 weeks is for. But, to make *HONK* matters worse, everyone we know still thinks we’re a couple. By that, I mean, every person we saw today (which was, annoyingly, my whole entire school) saw us as “together”. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression, but it’s not as if I can run around saying “Oh, guess what?!?! We’re broken up!!”- and it’s not as if I’d want to.

Nush rang this arvo. I kinda blew her off because we were in the middle of a movie and I felt rude for leaving the room to take a call. Sometimes I can be a bit harsh though. My Bad.

It sounds strange, almost unnatural now I say it out loud- I’m not in love anymore.

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6 Comments »

  1. ash?? when were you going to tell me all this? why couldnt you just say this to my face. it would be less rude. you told all your interent friends but not me? were u ever gonna tell me this?

    Comment by pete — December 12, 2006 @ 6.38p12

  2. what happened to the so called talk??
    i tried to have a talk with you but you didnt text bak and you rushed me out the door. if you just sed this to my face it would have been so much easier.
    goodbye

    Comment by pete — December 12, 2006 @ 6.38p12

  3. *HONK*

    Comment by Anushka — December 12, 2006 @ 6.38p12

  4. Ahahaha Nush, I miss you!!!
    Um… yeah, you didn’t have to rubbish me out on my ownsite, you know.
    FYI: I kinda did tell you all this.

    Comment by happychick — December 12, 2006 @ 6.38p12

  5. *double honk*.. i know i killed it :(…

    Comment by Courtney — December 13, 2006 @ 6.38p12

  6. ahahaha!!! *double honk*… ah, Gupta.

    Comment by happychick — December 13, 2006 @ 6.38p12


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