sundog

October 24, 2006

What she feels….

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

It was all getting a bit much. Her ability to be able to cope was tested time and time again, a new challenge all the time, never letting up.
The one named Pete thought her to be unfaithful. He did not know that she was devastated. He did not know of the pan she felt every time she heard his name. He was still “boyfriend”, when she talked about him to her friends, which was all the time. She still wore the wristband he had given her. She thought about him in every class, whenever the loneliness threatened to engulf her. It was the image of him that kept the tears from falling freely. He did not know that. He may never.
Her tears fall harder now, as she thinks of her bestie. The girl is furious at her. She knows why. She is the reason why. And she can’t help but think of how it would’ve been had she never moved back- things would’ve been peaceful- seas undisturbed, so to speak. Her blog has caused so much pain, yet she could never imagine a life without it.
School was hard today. She had been given a Science test and failed miserably. She knew that the same would happen on Thursday, when her Math teacher delivered a similar hell on paper.
The nights were the worst. She sat alone, hugging the bear that so much reminded her of her late father. She cried. And cried. She wished countless times that she could just be home. That she could lay in her own bed, on her own pillow, in the town she loved to hate. She hoped against hope that she would survive the next 7 weeks, though she thought it unlikely. Today, she even made an appointment with the school Chaplain- wanting someone, anyone, to come to her rescue.
It had been just over a week. Only a week, she thought miserably. What she wouldn’t give to see her Mum again.
Everything is falling apart for her. She has no-one to turn to. No-one. It’s times like these when she understands why some people take their own lives. She could never do it herself, of course- but she now knows what it’s like to have nowhere to turn.
She recalls the last time she felt such despair. After that night, and the days of mourning following it, she had promised herself to never be put in a situation like that again- by God, by anyone. A situation she could not handle.
Most of it she could bare. The homework, the tears, the nights of homesickness. She could even endure the lack of faith in her by the one she loved- at least for a little while. But the isolation. The pure loneliness of it all. The isolation would be her downfall. She would break, sooner or later. It was nature’s way.

October 22, 2006

Dude… City. Adventure. Matt.

Filed under: Friends, My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

The city was pretty awesome today. Nush and I went with her new BFF (puke) Courtney… The girl’s not so bad… but… well, let me just say she’s a model with flawless skin and a size 8 waist. Unnatural, I tell you. UNNATURAL!!
We caught the bus into town, where we met up with Courtney’s mate/almost bf Yo…Jo… Well, I just called him Yoko Ono all day, usually in the context “Shut up, Yoko Ono! You killed the Beatles!”… yeah… not so funny now you look back on it. Anyway, he came with his mate Matt…
Matt. The guy was pretty cute. And sweet, too. Reminded me a lot of my cousin Matt (freakishly familiar voices and the same name!! Aaaarrggghh!!) Nush kept dropping what she thought were “subtle hints” (BTW- NOT subtle.) “If you wanted to know, you guys look cute together”, “he’s nice, and lives near us”… etc, etc.
And it wasn’t a lie. We had a great day. And when Courtney and Anushka decided to fuck off somewhere for a very long time, we chatted and shopped and basically “hit it off”, or however you put it.
(Side note: Pissing off like that was not only bitchy and selfish, it was bloody dangerous too. The fucking left me in the city with two boys I don’t know, who could’ve done God-knows-what to me in those fricken alleyways… Ran off without a word for an hour and a half, and didn’t even THINK to apologize when, finally, they felt it was time to trot on back. I was fucking pissed, in case this little paragraph didn’t already have enough profanities in it.)
Back to Matt. I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t think about it. I would never lie like that. But my feelings for Pete are no weaker than they were when I left. Despite our “hook-up” rule, I would feel so… unfaithful, not to mention guilty, if anything had happened. And Pete- for the record, if you read this (like duh, I know you! :p), the closest we got was (almost) holding hands in the scary part of the movie. Besides, he was too quiet for me anyway.
The movie was “Children of Men”. It was one of those random movies, where not a lot makes sense until you leave the cinema and are like “Ah, that was SO good!” Hehe. DVD-rental worthy.
We went into THE COOLEST second-hand bookstore today. It was old-school, massive- the type of place I’ma own as I get older. Totally mad. Geez. Unexplainably entrancing.

Dude, I am SO proud of myself!! I only bought jeans and a book today. 9 hours in the city, and only jeans and a book! Man! Some would call that sad, I prefer to lean toward “saving”. Hehe.
So… This post has been long enough, yeah?
To Juan- a hobbie! You are a genius! Now you just gotta tell me WHAT hobbie. (Say car detailing or whatever you do and you die).
JBoats- hehe I’m so glad you find Pete charming! He really is. And totally does not deserve to be stereotyped with all those other sex-crazed morons who are teenage boys.
Mr Angry- I seriously hate the emo cut. Majorly. Ugh.
Andy- you loser. Write in your blog and if you’re going to bother emailing me back- do so with lengthier replies!
As for Sandra and Keith! Umm…HELLO? Check my blog and comment please!

October 21, 2006

I’m not a sarcastic motherfucker- you just see everything I write in a pessimistic light!

Filed under: My Life, School, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p10

You know, completely off-topic and probably not a good way to start a post- I’ve been having a great old time scrolling through wordpress, reading everyone’s blogs… and… OMG you guys are all BORING! Basically, if you’re not on my Blogroll, with the exception of a special few… You suck. Honestly. It’s like nerd-city in this place! 

Anywho… It’s Saturday. Saturday night, to be exact. And what is dear Happychick doing? Ah, Happychick, the abnormally popular, social butterfly that she is… is SITTING IN FRONT OF HER COMPUTER CHECKING HER EMAILS. At 8.51pm… On a Saturday. Now, I don’t know how they do it in your country, guys, but over here in lovely old Australia, most of the loverly young beings my age are out, drinking, shooting up, lighting their bongs and whatnot, ready for yet another Saturday night full of sex, booze and violence. AND HERE I AM MISSING OUT ON ALL THE FUN! 

Ah… That last paragraph is a little… I don’t even know the word. But yes… So, the first week was a bit average- not much to report on the home front. Today I went Dancing- which I’m sure you lot neither know nor care about, just as I don’t care about Motherboards or whatever else the guy who’s blog I just read was jittering on about… Tomorrow, Nush, Courtney (grr, Nush’s ‘new BFF!!) and I are set to go into the city (If that girl ever works out how to get the bus times right!)… Which should be fun. Haven’t been to the city in YEARS…  

Have a MAJOR craving to go to the zoo… As random as it sounds, I am going to die if I do not see those cute little monkeys with the weird moustaches (you know the ones I mean…) very, very soon. And TIGERS! Did I mention they are my fave animal? No? Well, now you know… (note to blog-readers- buy Happychick tiger!) 

I’m so damn tired guys… really. 8.57. Saturday night. Can my life be any more sad? (Actually, yes- I could already be in bed, like this time LAST Saturday…) 

And so… I shall go. Check the 56 Forwarded emails that end in “If you do not send this on to twenty-five people in the next ten seconds, a ghost will come and rape your dog at 1.54 tonight”… What an exciting life I lead. Mwah! Sorry for the large amount of totally unfunny sarcasm shamelessly posted here tonight… xxx

October 17, 2006

Change is as good as a holiday…

Filed under: Family, Friends, My Life, School, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p10

Ah, my Aunty says “Change is as good as a holiday”… I always thought this was good advice… But, I dunno. Lately, here… I guess change takes a bit of getting used to.

School. School, school, school. LAME. Actually, I’d seriously forgotten how lame it actually was until I came back. Bitches, Whores, those God-forsaken “fairy shoes”… And! Just when we thought evil could corrupt the school no more? EMO HAIRCUTS. Yes, I admit it- they look hot on one chick. BUT! When you see 20 girls in succession with the same black hair, blonde streaks, side fringe… It gets old easily.

The first day kinda flew by- but don’t let that fool you into thinking it was anything but average… Gaping stares, shameless pointing… Stage whispering… Ugh. Cant say I expected anything less.

The deputy was pretty ok though- he gave me a little tour (didn’t have the heart to tell the guy I already knew where everything was), and put me in a lot of Anushka’s classes…

I heard “You’ve not changed a bit” too many times to be flattered- more alarmed. And so, I shall book myself in for a (NOT emo) haircut over the weekend, and change (at least a little bit).

Nanna does indeed have a computer (albeit dial-up and MSN-deificient)… works pretty good too.

Ah! Now, I’m pretty sure you’ll not have heard of him, but there’s this writer, Danny Katz. He’s Australian, and every week he writes an article in the TV Week. I even used to collect his articles (I know, Oh-so-sad, but I used to collect socks too- you’ve got to admit this was a healthier alternative)… Now, the guy’s a genius. And funny-as-hell too. If you ever get the chance to look at some of his work, you’ll pretty much laugh your ass off. For real.

I’m getting really homesick and Petesick… And it’s the first full day for God’s sake. I never thought it would be this hard to let him go…

I suppose writing in my blog here is the only really consistent thing right now… I’m feeling quite comfortable and right at home- good feeling to be experiencing in the current situation, if you ask me.

And now, I shall go, check all your blogs, hang out a bit and wallow in my misery… As you do… xxx

October 15, 2006

Randomosity

Filed under: Friends, Happy, Home, My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

On my iPod right now:“Where is your heart?Coz I don’t really feel you…Where is your heart?What I really want is to believe you!Is it so hardTo give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That’s all I’m asking for
Oh, where is your heart?”
Kelly ClarksonBought awesome-ass new shoes today at some “thrift” store, as you Americans’ put it… Totally cute, but I have no socks to match… 

J Off tomorrow! Big responsibility… big change… First impressions are hard enough, but second first impressions? Do they even have them?? 

I’m off to dinner in like, two and a half seconds, and my mate Kirah is banging on the door, and so… I must leave you… 

Love to all, xxx

October 14, 2006

BACK! And off again

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

The trip was amazing. Awesomeness in a ten-day can. We drove off to a tiny little bay, common among tourists and backpackers and everyone with half a brain…

         We made a lot of mates, including a family of Mormons (not morons, though they had their moments…). All our mates were boys though- all of the hundreds of anorexic, bikini-clad supermodel look-alikes made me feel a little intimidated, not to mention self-conscious…

         The whole “sex” thing didn’t happen. That’s not to say we didn’t try… Oh, you so do not need the full story… Ugh. Spare me.

          Tomorrow I’m packing my bags and on Monday I am SHOVING OUT to go live with crazy Nazi-Nan. Should be an experience to say the least. God forbid I make an attempt at a social life, though. Wait, that sounded mean. To be honest, it’s quite good of her to have me and all- Lord knows, despite the massive amount of maturity and perfectosity I have acquired in my short life- I’m not the easiest of people to raise. And, like my
Nan, I’m terribly stubborn and pig-headed- which is definitely going to be the fuel of at least on fight, let me tell you that.

         We went snorkeling and swimming and shopping and all the beachy stuff. The snorkeling got a bit old after a while- you seen one fish, you seen em all. And it was waaay windy, and, being the silly little female that I am, I avoided the water quite a bit.

         AND! We did a four-wheeler tour over the dunes, and watched the sunset. Fucken Ace.

         And… That’s all, really. I’m really looking forward to moving- the homesickness is gonna kill me though.

         OMG. I am a freaking genius. Now, I hate technology- lets not forget how completely computer illiterate I am. BUT. I managed (God knows how) to put all my photo’s from here onto my iPod, and now I can show all those little snobs how cool my mates were up here. Ha!

 

So… Bedtime it is, thanks for all your comments, will post ASAPP (Hahaha Keith- what now??) Much Love, xxxx Happychick.

October 2, 2006

Birthdays and touching and LAMEness and stuff

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

So, I lied. The post from the other day was not the last (thankyou, Captain Obvious). That’s because I am a loser with no life so I thought I’d post you all a loverly little story.

The story is about my English teacher this year. Now, I have a lot of people whom I “look up” to, in a sense. But this woman is different. I guess it’s because I see a lot of myself in her. She’s funny and smart and stern yet diplomatic, she’s never been good at Maths, but kicks ass in English- I guess, if I could grow up to be like anyone, it would be her.

And in class on Friday, which, BTW, was my last day, she told us all a story, about her friend, Jane. She told us about how she and Jane had met when they were 7, and how they’d gone off to uni together, and how Jane had traveled around the world a dozen times, and escaped numerous close calls. She told us about how Jane had began to have really bad migraines, and then how’d she’d had bleeding on the brain, and had gone into a coma. By this time Miss was crying- all this had happened just weeks ago. She told us how her family had waited until Miss had gone down there before turning off the machine.

By this time, as you’d expect, basically everyone in the room with a vagina was bawling their eyes out (me being no exception). Then Miss turned to me and said

“I told that story for you. I wanted you to know how she’d followed her dreams and achieved absolutely everything she’d ever wanted, and that I want you to do the same”. And everyone was staring at me, and I was just crying. I would have thought of something more meaningful to say, but I had snot running out my nose, so graceful kinda went out the window.

So! There is my story. And yesterday was my birthday. Pete came over and he had a whine about how I never let him “touch me” anymore, which incited an argument, which consequently kinda wrecked the day. But we watched basically every season of Viva la Bam, and then Mum, Paul and I went out for dinner.

After what Paul calls “the restaurant experience” (aka waiting for an hour and a half for an entrée, and then another hour for the main, and paying WAY too much in the end- apparently this is “enjoyable”…), we drove up to the water tower, which overlooks the ocean. It was so pretty all lit up and that… Unfortunately, I drank way too much solo at dinner so I had to pee behind a tree. Hahaha

Then, when we all arrived home, we had the traditional Happychick cake- A soponge cake with jam and cream. Which was yum. Really yum. And that, my dear friends, was the end of my LAME birthday.J

October 1, 2006

I did the Macarena with a paperclip because I’m sexy and I do what I want.

Filed under: Happy, My Life — happychick @ 6.38p10

  

Pick the month you were born on:

January–I kicked
February–I love
March–I smoked
April–I played with
May–I choked on
June– I danced with
July–I sang to
August–I had lunch with
September–I murdered
October–I did the Macarena with
November–I yelled at
December–I ran over

Pick the day(number)you were born on:

1–a paperclip
2–a monster
3–you like no other
4–a fork
5–a gangster
6–a Mexican
7–my cell phone
8–my dog
9–my best friends boyfriend
10–my neighbor
11–my science teacher
12–a banana
13–Chuck Norris
14–a stuffed animal
15–a goat
16–a pickle
17–your mum
18–a spoon
19–myself
20–a football player
21–a ninja
22–a permanent marker
23–a noodle
24–a squirrel
25–a baseball bat
26–your sister
27–your brother
28–an iPod
29–a fireman
30–a llama
31–a homeless guy

Pick the colour of the shirt you are wearing:

white–because I’m NOT homosexual
black–because that’s how I roll
pink–because I cant control myself
red–because the voices told me to
blue–because I’m sexy and I do what I want
green–because I hate myself
purple–because I’m cool
gray–because I was drunk
yellow–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
orange–because I hate my family
other–because I’m a ninja
none–because I’m in love with your mother

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