sundog

August 27, 2006

Don;t let it be the end for us…

Filed under: My Life — happychick @ 6.38p08

Wow. We’ve never fought like this before. It could very well be the end- and I do not think I’m ready for that. I’m scared. I’ll admit it. I’m terrified. But I can’t just give in like that, can I? He’s just so careless sometimes- it’s as if my feelings don’t even come into play.

If I was a boy, I wouldn’t go to another girls house. I wouldn’t swim in her pool half-naked. I wouldn’t stay at her house all day, or borrow her movies.

I wouldn’t rant on about how fun it was to my girlfriend. And it certainly wouldn’t have been a girl who my girlfriend dislikes severely.

But if I had done these things, and known how much she was hurt, I wouldn’t tell my mates, purely so they could laugh in her face.

But mostly, I would admit that I was wrong. And I wouldn’t think it was nothing. I would put myself in her position and realise how cut up she must be feeling inside.

 

I just don’t know how he could be so selfish. And it’s not as if he didn’t know how I would react. I just don’t know what to do. If I tell him I’m over it, it’ll give him the go-ahead to do similar things again. If I stay angry, though, I risk losing him forever.

I just feel so damn violated. It’s petty and silly and immature and all those things, but it’s not as though I go to other boys houses (whom I know he is quite unfavorable towards t the moment) in my bikini.

 

And yet, even as I write this, I can see how I am overreacting. And I am feeling guilty.

But I don’t know… I just feel lost. I can’t look at her again, knowing how smug she’ll be, and how she’ll mention it as though it were nothing. And how she’ll pretend to be my friend…. AArrgghh!! The thought of it makes me realise why I was so angry in the frist place.

 

So yeah, I’m pretty much over it. But I’ll post this anyway, coz then you lot will be able to see how silly I can be sometimes. J xx

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4 Comments »

  1. if you were a boy, you wouldnt think like this at all 🙂

    Comment by keith — August 28, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  2. Ah well, welcome to the rest of your life. Relationships are seldom smooth. They tend to be worse when your younger but there’s no guarantee they’ll be any better when you’re older. Cheery bastard, aren’t I?

    Comment by Mr Angry — August 28, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  3. I’d kick his ass under the bus. That is why you never come to me for relationship advise. 😀

    Comment by Sandra — August 29, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  4. I am just getting out of a almost three year relationship.(okay, I’m trying) You just described the majority of the last two years of my life! In one paragraph! Sad. Happy, when you tell him how hurt you are, try using I statements. Example. . . I was hurt when this happened. I feel bad when this happens. I felt this or that when that happened. That way he can’t say that you are accusing him of anything. You are just telling him how you feel. And he is a gigantic ass if he doesn’t listen!

    Comment by challismt — August 29, 2006 @ 6.38p08


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