sundog

August 7, 2006

Steph

Filed under: Angry, Friends, Home, My Life, School, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p08

The other day I was at Pete’s, and we were having a “history-sharing” moment, during which, you may have already guessed, we share stories from our history. It was quite an eye-opening experience, seeing things now, as opposed to how they seemed back then. Which brings me to the point of my post;

There are some people in life, who, nicely put, are doormats. They lay down and let others get away with anything, yet come crawling back for more. I used to know a girl like this, who resembled everything I didn’t want to be so perfectly. Her name was Stephanie.

I first met Steph when i was in Year 4. She was a little overwieght, and as much as us “cool” kids verbally beat her up, she’d go to any lengths to get us to be her friends. After I left that school at the end of Year 5, I thought no more about her, until i began high school 3 years later. She had not changed a bit. She still let the skanky girls mouth off about her to her face. It was heartbraking to watch, day after day. But what is even more awful is the fact that I joined in. In fact, I was probably worse. I used to walk to school with Steph, and brought her down all day. Eventually, she turned “EMO”, wearing short skirts (which did nothing for her fighure), tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of eye make-up, began listening to “That” music, etc, etc. But still, she looked up to me. She fed me compliments, which I thived on, yet instead of returning the favour, I made fun of her. I called her names. Horrible names. Names I dare not repeat, because I am so ashamed of my actions.

If she had commited suicide over the years I had known her, I can tell you now that the note she left behind would incriminate me. It would tell of the pain I put her through. And I should have known better. After what Bilson put me through, I should have been above that. I could never look her in the eye now. I could never, ever face her. It was so damn funny at the time, we all had a good laugh. But Steph?

God, thats girl deserved so much better.

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7 Comments »

  1. yeah but god she was annoyin tho

    Comment by wallywally — August 7, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  2. 😆 So not the point. Annoying or not- she’s still, well, human.

    Comment by happychick — August 7, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  3. So have you ever considered making amends to this girl? Just telling her you were wrong? I’ve done that a lot, makes one able to look the world square in the eye, not have to avoid anyone.

    Comment by Sandra — August 7, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  4. Mom is right. Seek her out. Take her out for a coffee, or whatever you Aussie teens do. You pay. Sit her down. Tell her what an ass you feel like. Let her know that you know you were wrong. Apologize. Above all else, be honest. Even if it sucks.

    The down side to ammends is not everyone accepts them. If you want to be right with yourself, that is just something you might have to deal with. My experience is that 90% of the people you make ammends to will accept them.

    Just two cents from your big bro across the pond. 😀

    Comment by The Bastard — August 8, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  5. Yeah, ok, so I spelled “amends” wrong (twice). Who gives a shit? 😀

    Comment by The Bastard — August 8, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  6. And that I will. Sandra and Mark- you are both full of wisdomosity and maturiosity… Next time I go home to visit- I’ll do my amend-making. 🙂

    Comment by happychick — August 8, 2006 @ 6.38p08

  7. You should be ashamed of yourself for wanting Steph to commit suicide.

    Comment by Anonymous — May 2, 2013 @ 6.38p05


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