July 14, 2006

What the hell is wrong with me?

Filed under: Angry, Friends, My Life, Self Pity — happychick @ 6.38p07

I am a terrible judge of character. If there was one thing in the whole world I would change about myself, it would be my ability to see a moron when I meet one. Or a sleazebag. Or a freak. Or a peadophile… I wouldn’t change the fact that, at (not quite)15 I have cellulite. I wouldn’t get rid of the freckles on my nose. I wouldn’t even make myself capable of having a decent conversation with someone without making myself look like a complete and utter twat. (Ok, I’d have to seriuosly weigh that up). Back on topic.

I fall for the guys who aren’t necessarily “bad boys”, but more like… brain-dead zombies. I make friends with the weird girls, who’s hobbies include playing the flute, drawing pictures of dragons and obsessing over whether or not “that” guy likes them (of course he doesn’t, you spastic- he likes the girl over there with her knickers showing and her hand between his legs). Again, revert back to topic, silly girl.

There is a girl at my school, her name is Nikki. She cheated on her boyfriend, she’s slept with half the towns’ population, or so I’ve heard. Now, I’ve learned, through my many years of bad-character-judging and trusting the wrong people, to take others’ word on people. So, all my friends say she’s a slut. The whole school practically wants to gang stab her in a frenzy of stabbing, like people who stab other people in frenzies… Back on topic, now… So we hate her. And by we, I mean me. And my friends. So, essentially, I am a sheep. Minus the fur. Unless you count hair, because I have quite a bit of that. OMG what is wrong with me tonight? God! I sound like Hell Boy. *clears throat loudly*. But, on the other hand, I went to a party the other week. An all-girls party. With no lesbian action. How lame. Lol. (seriously, though- what am I on? should I even bother posting this???). So she was there. And sure, she seemed a little loud (like me!). She seemed a bit tarty (also like me, depending on who you ask). But other than that, she seemed ok. I didn’t want to judge her. I didn’t want to toss her to the side like a peice of off lettuce in a salad. I wanted to get to know her. I really did. But I couldn’t. The moment I said to Pete “She’s not that bad, you know”, he set me straight.(By that, I mean, he went on about how much of a cheap whore she is). God forbid my “friends” found out that I didn’t want her dead.

You can sit there and say “Gee, Happychick. You always give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s a really great quality”. But you’d be an idiot to say that. I was the type of kid who’d get into the car with a stranger. God, with a little bit less self-respect I’d be the type of teenager to go to a party and start chatting to a bunch of guys, before moving to an upstairs bedromm and…

I must admit, I’m a bit of an idiot. The benefit of the doubt isn’t always right. It is, more often than not, very wrong (at least in my case). I just don’t know why I cannot see people for who they really are.



  1. The benefit of the doubt isn’t always wrong….is it?

    Comment by Sandra — July 14, 2006 @ 6.38p07

  2. hmm so this means i’m also a bit of a bad judge of character then?! coz i don’t usually believe in what other people has to say about other people. i’d rather know the person personally before i decide what type he/she really is. reason why some friends call me ‘naive’, but is it being naive when you do that?!

    sandra’s right, giving the benefit of the doubt isn’t that always bad chick. you’re alright, coz you’re not judgemental. you’re a good person that’s for sure. 😉

    Comment by Mayang — July 14, 2006 @ 6.38p07

  3. sounding like me? omg you mean im that crazy in writing……fainted.
    obviously there’s something wrong with you. may be a hell girl. you go for geeky, weird, strange…. creatures. according to wife, birds of feather flock together! ( i never say wise things hihihi)

    Comment by Hell Boy — July 15, 2006 @ 6.38p07

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