My Mum once had food poisoning- she said she thought she was going to die. She was curled up and rocking- I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Now, I’m not experiencing food poisoning or anything of the sort- but I am that kind of ill you simply cannot shake.
The ill that makes your head throb like someone’s cracked you with a cricket bat. The ill that has you writhing with stomach pain, feeling weak and… well, as if you’re going to die.
Okay, reading back over that it was a little dramatic- I’ve never handled sickness well, and being in the middle of exams makes things no better.
I had my Human Bio exam yesterday- an easy pass, although I’m disappointed that I didn’t study as hard as I could’ve, or should’ve. Maths is on Monday morning (*vomit*), English Lit on Tuesday arvo, and Media last on Wednesday.
I spoke to Shona the other day online. She’s dropped out of school and is moving across the country. I’m a big believer in a good education and it really threw me when she said she’d thrown in the towel. Thinking about it now, though, it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She’s the definition of “alternative”- to put it bluntly, she’s a new-age hippie. I’ve had a look at the alternative school she’s thinking about enrolling in, and all I can say is- go for it. The place was made for you, and people like you- and I’m sure you’ll find a hundred kindred spirits.
The long weekend was a great break. My Nan lives near this amazing lake, and I made a point of going for a walk around it every morning while I was there. The great thing about morning walks, I find, is the utter lack of teenage life. None of our generation will get up before 11 if they have the choice. And so the majority of people I encountered on these “strolls” were the retirees- friendly and smiley and almost always replying to my polite “Good Morning”. It was interesting, though- my friend and I were walking to the shopping centre and we passed an older man going the opposite way. Out of habit I said hello, and Nush looked at me in surprise- “Do you know him?” she asked, after he had replied, and was out of ear shot. Of course not, I thought. It struck me then how distant people have become from one another. Maybe it’s the age of technology, with an iPod plugged in and a phone in hand (I’m not one to talk, mind you- I’m terrible in terms of my iPod taking over my life). Maybe it’s just the fear of invading another person’s personal space. I don’t know what it is, and can provide no insight- but it’s saddening, all the same. When did people become so isolated?
My Mum can be decidedly immature sometimes. It still trips me out to realize that this woman, whom I look up to so damn much, is human too and can really be an idiot when the mood strikes her. She says things that are clearly a ploy to make her seem tough/ funny/ independent. It gets me thinking, when do people grow up? Is there a stage in a persons’ life where they are fully mature, responsible adults? The answer is clearly no- and when I meet one of these fabled adults, I shall be sure to let you know.
Interestingly enough, the ex and I had a long chat online on the weekend. We haven’t spoken for months (not since the last time I was decidedly rude to him at his school). It was all a bit surreal. He had a lot to say, none of it particularly abusive or even important- but interesting all the same. We talked about the ex-friend and his spineless internet dumping of her- his reasons were alarming, to tell the truth. I didn’t need to be told she was a rebound that he used to “try to get over me”. I certainly didn’t want to be privy to a comparison of the two relationships- not only rude to her, but unpleasant for myself. That said, I was glad for a chance to apologize- I’ll be the first to admit I’ve acted like a twat since Christmas, and it’s nice to be back on “Speaking terms”.
To Jon- 6 months isn’t bad at all. Happy Birthday. My Mum always said I’d be lucky to make it to seventeen- we’ll see if she’s right.
What else is there to share? Life goes on, “much as it has this past age”, and things don’t look set on changing drastically too soon. My close friend Tarn says I should “make a move” on a certain male friend- I asked her why she thought so. It seems as though she too has fallen into the “I’m nothing without a boyfriend” trap- I told her politely that I’m not looking for a boy, and it’s true- relationships are so much hassle it’s not even feasible for me to waste my time.
But, should Ville Valo come along I would gladly change my mind- the man is divine and I wouldn’t give THAT up for all the Grape Hubba Bubba in the world.
